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April 16 2011

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There's something wrong with my ear

A 65-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk.
 
The Receptionist said: "Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?"
 
"There’s something wrong with my dick", he replied.
 
The receptionist became irritated and said: "You shouldn’t come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that. "
 
"Why not, you asked me what was wrong and I told you", he said.
 
The Receptionist replied: "Now you’ve caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private."
 
The man replied: "You shouldn’t ask people questions in a roomful of strangers, if the answer could embarrass anyone."
The man walked out, waited several minutes, and then re-entered.
 
The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked: "Yes?"
 
"There’s something wrong with my ear", he stated.
 
The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. "And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?"
 
"I can’t piss out of it", he replied.
 
The waiting room erupted in laughter…
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You met me at a very strange time in my life

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All your subway station …
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Bildschirmarbeiter.com Picdump 07.01.2011 # 40
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Banksy: Stained Window, 2011
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Home on Lagrange (The L5 Song)

Oh, give me a locus where the gravitons focus
Where the three-body problem is solved,
Where the microwaves play down at three degrees K,
And the cold virus never evolved. (chorus)

We eat algea pie, our vacuum is high,
Our ball bearings are perfectly round.
Our horizon is curved, our warheads are MIRVed,
And a kilogram weighs half a pound. (chorus)

If we run out of space for our burgeoning race
No more Lebensraum left for the Mensch
When we're ready to start, we can take Mars apart,
If we just find a big enough wrench. (chorus)

I'm sick of this place, it's just McDonald's in space,
And living up here is a bore.
Tell the shiggies, "Don't cry," they can kiss me goodbye
'Cause I'm moving next week to L4! (chorus)

CHORUS: Home, home on LaGrange,
Where the space debris always collects,
We possess, so it seems, two of Man's greatest dreams:
Solar power and zero-gee sex.

--Home on Lagrange (The L5 Song)
© 1978 by William S. Higgins and Barry D. Gehm

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